Wordless Wednesday

some nerve

Today marks 3 years since the last time Eric was arrested. Since that day in 2008, he has not been a part of Maya's life and the changes in Maya's life (and those that love and support her) have been remarkable.

Maya is confident.

Maya's life is stable.

Maya's family is unified.

Maya's emotional needs are met.

Maya's physical needs are met.

Maya is rid of a poisonous influence.

Maya understands that love is not supposed to hurt.

Maya and all of her family are able to be happy again.

Maya's schedule is flexible and accommodating to her needs, not just what is ordered from Family Court.

I could go on and on about how well Maya is doing, but I think you get the point.

So guess what happened a few weeks ago? Eric had the nerve to ask if he could see Maya again. Seriously?! Who does he think he is? I can tell you what the court thinks he is...a poisonous influence in Maya's life. So poisonous that if he was allowed back into Maya's life, there would be an immediate transfer of custody. So thankfully, this time around, we (those that truly love and support Maya) aren't letting him get exposure to Maya. We're being even more cautious because even though it is hard and Maya might not understand the full reasoning...we do it because Maya is worth protecting...and in the long run, she will thank us because she will mature to her full potential.

We do hard things now, so good things come later.

We protect our young.

We will not stand for more abuse - of any kind.

This Mama Bear has been awakened from hibernation and is ready to protect her bonus baby!

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

engagement site

We took a little pit stop on the way home from family vacation. Maya asked if she could see the place where  her Dad and I got engaged:)

As we made our way to Spirit Mountain, a whole flood of emotions came rushing into my heart. There are so many memories brought back to life just by physically being in that location. This is the place where Dave and I met, fell in love, and got engaged.

What happened next was pretty much the most adorable thing ever! MacKean decided he wanted a kiss too. He has never given real kisses before! But as soon as he saw Dave and I kiss there, he wanted to kiss me over and over and over...

The great thing about MacKean learning to kiss...he's not biting anymore! He has been in a biting stage for a month or two now and I kept telling him, "no MacKean, we use our mouth to kiss, not to bite". Apparently that didn't sink in until that moment on Spirit Mountain!

So thank you Spirit Mountain for reminding me of so many special times and for now creating a new one. I'll always remember that day as the day MacKean learned to kiss.

Happy Friday,
The Other Mother

Wordless Wednesday

a sweet reunion

MacKean really missed his big sister and Daddy while they were in the wilderness. He was so excited to see them! Here are a few of my favorite pics from their sweet reunion:)

summer

I feel like summer just started, but here we are in September already! Family vacation is over and school is just around the corner. Maya moved into her locker, picked up her class schedule, and her clothes for the first day of school are laid out and ready to go.

The basic lack of schedule all summer has been really great. It allowed for us to just be...to play and read as we pleased. While it is really important for us to have these free times, what I really crave is schedule and routine. David's work schedule is different (and more rigid) during the school year. Maya is held to a tight schedule with school, homework, and her first season of tennis. Michael is starting preschool this year and will have his first real taste of a schedule. MacKean is just along for the ride and I feel like a conductor of life during this summer/school year transition.

Our family meeting is planned with an agenda and calendars prepared.
My Google Calendar is full of recurring events for each family member.
Sunday School will be starting soon.
The new 2011-12 chore charts are ready for the big kids.
Meal planning for the fall is in full swing.
I've started putting daily menus on our kitchen chalkboard.

Even with all this transition into schedules and routine, I do have one last summer "event". I'm going to Space Camp with my big sister...We leave on Saturday! I'm a bit giddy and a bit nervous. Mostly, I just can't wait. But first, I have a mountain of laundry that needs to be attended to...and when I get back, BAM! School will be in it's second week and fall will be right around the corner.

Are you ready?

Wordless Wednesday

Children's Bill of Rights

We the children of the divorcing parents, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish these Bill Of Rights for all children.

1. The right not to be asked to "choose sides" or be put in a situation where I would have to take sides between my parents.
   
2. The right to be treated as a person and not as a pawn, possession or a negotiating chip.
   
3. The right to freely and privately communicate with both parents.
   
4. The right not to be asked questions by one parent about the other.
   
5. The right not to be a messenger.
   
6. The right to express my feelings.
   
7. The right to adequate visitation with the non-custodial parent which will best serve my needs and wishes.
   
8. The right to love and have a relationship with both parents without being made to feel guilty.
   
9. The right not to hear either parent say anything bad about the other.
   
10. The right to the same educational opportunities and economic support that I would have had if my parents did not divorce.
    
11. The right to have what is in my best interest protected at all times.
    
12. The right to maintain my status as a child and not to take on adult responsibilities for the sake of the parent's well being.
    
13. The right to request my parents seek appropriate emotional and social support when needed.
    
14. The right to expect consistent parenting at a time when little in my life seems constant or secure.
    
15. The right to expect healthy relationship modeling, despite the recent events.
    
16. The right to expect the utmost support when taking the time and steps needed to secure a healthy adjustment to the current situation.
    

---

Please realize that this is NOT law, anywhere.
The "Children's' Bill of Rights" is not legally enforceable, but rather suggestions made to keep the best interest of the child a priority.

Taken from Divorce HQ

Wordless Wednesday

38 years and still in love: Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!

OK, so this post isn't completely wordless...but that's OK:) 

Thank you Mom and Dad for raising me with a realistic view of marriage. You guys made it through so many hard times, but have a stronger marriage because of it. Marriage is hard work; it takes much strength and perseverance!

Love you!

tomorrow

Last night, Michael and I were laying in my bed talking. The conversation just kept going and going and going. Normally I don't like to allow too much stalling before bedtime, but last night was different. He was having a real conversation and I could tell he was just eating up the time with me. Alone time with me. One-on-one time with me. The last part of our conversation went like this...

"OK, Michael, time to go to sleep. I need to go clean and then I'll come back and lay with you.
"But you can clean tomorrow."
"I also have to pack for our trip."
"But you can pack tomorrow."
"I need to do the laundry."
"But you can do laundry tomorrow."
"You know, Michael, you're right...."

We kept talking, but since Michael is the "man of the house" while Dave is gone I made him help me close up the house before we went to bed together. So we closed windows and curtains, locked doors, picked things up, and went to bed. Michael and I fell asleep talking and cuddling. It was nice...and he was right. I can do all those things tomorrow. Sometimes it's worth it to live in the present and snuggle with my big boy.

And now it's today and I've got work to do!

staying grounded

In our fast-paced world, it is so important to stay grounded!

I like to spend a lot of time outdoors.
It renews me.
It inspires me.

It's the simple things like working with my hands in my garden that give me time to clear my brain. Choosing to walk, instead of drive, to the store allows for me to take in my surroundings, rather than rush past them. And sometimes I just like to sit on my bench swing or lay in my hammock so I can hear the sounds of nature.

When I connect with nature, the problems that seem so big in the moment start to slowly fade away until they don't seem so big and important anymore.

How do you stay grounded in your day-to-day life?

forgiveness

Wikipedia defines forgiveness like this..."Forgiveness is typically defined as the process of concluding resentment, indignation, or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution."

Bottom line... forgiveness is a process...

Over the years, I received several half-hearted apologies from Eric. To me, they meant nothing if he wasn't willing to change his actions. It took a very long time for me to realize that I actually did need to practice forgiveness with Eric...not because of Eric or his apologies, but because of ME! I was suffering because of this weight I chose to keep.

For a long time it felt like I had to forgive him over and over and over for the same things because I just couldn't let go! Thankfully I have learned to let go of the hatred, but I get the feeling it may try to creep it's way back into my life...

Like the other day when I was talking to Maya. We don't talk about Eric often, but occasionally he makes his way into our conversation. [Maya does see him from time to time because of her little brother and sister at her Mom's.] Maya knows about the court order which clearly states that Eric is not to be a significant part of her life any longer. Which is good! But Maya is 12 and is learning to be an adult little by little and she likes to help to make decisions for her life. It upsets Maya that our court order tells her who she cannot let in her life. Afterall, she wasn't involved in the decision to keep Eric away. So sadly, Eric still has a hold on her. Not a big hold on her, but a hold none-the-less.

I hope and pray she doesn't resent her Mom, Dad, and I for guarding her from Eric. But mostly I hope and pray that as she matures, Maya makes the decision to guard herself from Eric. But maybe that isn't the right way to think about things...maybe I should be hoping and praying that Eric changes himself...hmm...these are heavy thoughts for a Friday!

For now though, I will continue to live my life without the weight of hatred.

How about you? Are there people in your life that you need to practice forgiveness with so you can get on with your life?

TGIF!
The Other Mother

Wordless Wednesday

Maya then

Maya now

Some things never change:)

hatred

I did not know true hatred until I became a Step-Mom.

Not because of Maya.
Absolutely not because of Maya.

You see, Maya is this exceptional person who can look at someone and see good. No matter what. Others could look at the same person and see a monster, but not Maya. Maya gave me hope. She was the reason I didn't want to leave her father's side. Although there were many times I thought about calling it quits.
Too many.
It's embarrassing actually.
But I didn't quit. I refused to because I had a job and people were counting on me to be my best.

At the time I was too wrapped up in hate see this, but I wasn't being my best. I let myself become so overcome with hatred that I couldn't see the big picture. I mean it's not like I enjoyed that twisting, turning, gut-wrenching feeling I got when I saw this "monster". Or when I would read his lengthy emails detailing how he was right and I was wrong...and every little reason why. Looking back now, it makes me so sad that I wasted precious time in my life and my kids' lives by letting this oppressive hatred overcome me.

I let my insides deteriorate. I let him hurt me. It still makes me sick to think about sometimes.

I hated Eric.

For MANY reasons.

Mostly I hated Eric for hurting Maya.

But the worst part about hatred is how it digs itself deeper. It eats away at good thoughts and destroys us from the inside. It is a long and burdened life to keep hatred alive...and it's very tiring...VERY tiring...

bedtime

Bedtime is such a GREAT opportunity to talk to kids!

I don't always take the time to do this, but when I do it is always worth it.

Last night, my Michael wanted to sleep downstairs in my bed. I obliged because I just don't see the harm. I mean, how many teenagers do you know that still like to sleep with their parents?! Plus, since he and MacKean share a room, I don't often get a chance to really talk to him at bedtime because I don't want to wake MacKean. But I digress... 

So last night as I was tucking Michael in, we had a conversation that went a little something like this...

Me: "Michael, I love you sooooo much"

Michael: "I love you too Mommy"

Me: "I am so happy to be your Mommy"

Michael: "I'm really happy you're my Mommy too"

It wasn't a long conversation, but the way he said it made me feel so special. My heart just melts when Michael and I have our heart to hearts:) Sometimes I get insecure about my relationship with Michael (shhh! that is a secret!) because he is a bit too much like me..and our very strong personalities have a tendency to clash more often than I'd like. 

Then, when the boys are in bed I like to go up to Maya's room, lay in her bed (or beanbag) silently, and wait for her to start talking:) I get to hear about her friends, the books she is reading, and her views on life in general. I like knowing what is going on in her head...she is almost a teenager and before she is, I want her to know she can talk to me about anything. Anything. 

I never took the time to talk to my Mom like Maya and I talk. My teenage years were difficult for all involved and I didn't make it easy for my parents in the least. In fact, I still apologize to my parents for my teenage behavior!

How do you get your kids and stepkids to open up? Do you have any cute stories to share?

Where's Maya?

Growing up, I never expected to be a Step-Mom, but I always knew I'd be a Mom.

It didn't take Dave and I long to decide that we would have our own children. We'd talked about it at length and after only two months of marriage we were surprised to find out we were having a baby:) Michael has been such a blessing to us, and has really bound our family together. Michael was the one person in our family that was connected to each of us by blood. He cemented our family ties.

For a long time life went on without question from Michael. Partly because he couldn't talk:) and partly because he knew no other family schedule. I started to do some research on what to tell Michael about Maya and her being a part of two families, why she wasn't here all the time, where she was when Maya was at her Mom's, who her Mom was, etc...but came up blank every time. I knew Michael was starting to get curious about things, but had no clue what to tell him.

When Michael was two, he understood that we dropped Maya off at school in the mornings. So that was what we told him. Maya was at school. Even when she wasn't. It made me feel a bit guilty because it was a lie, but I didn't know what else to say. I wanted Michael to understand, but I didn't want to confuse him.

The school thing did work for a while, but then Michael turned three and started asking questions. Questions I did not know how to answer.

CRAP! How do I explain this to a three year old?!

I was completely at a loss. Then I thought about something...someone actually. There is one person in this world that could understand and might even have advice for me. After all, she does have two younger kids that are dealing with the same thing. Maya's Mom. So I asked her, and she had a really great solution. Here's what she told me:

"Here's what I've had to tell elliot and fisher...I explained to them that there are different kinds of families...some houses have a mom, some have a dad, some have a mom and dad...and some have 2 moms or 2 dads...had to add that last one in there!! They know that I am mayas mom and dave is her dad. They know that I am their mom and eric is their dad. I told them that some moms and dads don't live together but they both love their kids. I would tell michael...if you want my advice...that you are his mom and dave is his dad and I am mayas mom and dave is her dad. And sometimes moms and dads don't live together. And you are mayas 'bonus' mom (I just read that term in a magazine). its the easiest way to explain it w/o going into all the gory details. Hopefully he gets it and doesn't ask too many questions. Those are just my thoughts. Let me know how it goes..."

Lightbulb! How had I never thought of this in such simple terms?

Have you ever asked for advice from "the ex"? It can be a little scary and a little humbling, but in the end Maya's Mom was the only one that could really understand my situation...from just about every angle. There is a lot more I need to learn about parenting my boys vs. stepparenting Maya and how to be effective at both simultaneously, but I think with a little help I'll be just fine. Afterall, I'm not on this journey alone...there are many people that I can lean on for support and advice. Today I am thankful for all those people!

Happy Monday,
The Other Mother

some very exciting blogs I want to share

Ok, I know I just posted something for you guys, but I really wanted to share these blogs with you.

First of all, Zen Habits is a blog I've followed for a long time...probably shortly after it started, my hubby shared it with me. We're both hooked. Leo, the man behind Zen Habits, also has a second blog called Zen Family Habits. Both are truly wonderful!

Then we come to Melissa of the blog Peace and Projects. I learned about Peace and Projects because of this guest post on another blog I follow...Simple Marriage. Melissa is a stepmom, and in looking through her own blog I found this interview she did with Leo. I had no idea Leo was a stepparent, and now I feel like I can connect with him on a new level through his blogs. I love finding other stepparents out there who have advice and experiences to share!

I hope you guys can also find good life tips through Simple Marriage, Zen Habits, Zen Family Habits, and Peace and Projects like I have.

The Other Mother

some resolution and some resolutions

Remember this post? Well here is a little follow up for you guys...

1. Death: I recently read "Exerpts from 90 Minutes in Heaven", and it gave me a better picture of why Christians aren't scared of death. It's still hard for me to feel excited about the loss through death, but time heals all wounds and believing that my loved ones will end up in a better place is comforting to me.

2. Family: We have our family by blood, and this is very important because those are the people that will always be there for you and who will love you unconditionally; but here is how I choose to look at things. After being married for a little over 4 years, I'm finally beginning to let go of the in-law title from my husband's side of the family. It's still a little akward for me, but it is a process that takes time. To become family through marriage has always been a challenge for me. Maya is a great example for me in this area by the love and acceptance that she has shown me. Our relationship is a relationship built through marriage, but cemented through mutual love, shared experience, and caring actions. Another extension of my family I think is important is Maya's side of the family through her Mom. I've gone from viewing them as the enemy, to seeing their lives on display in court, to general acceptance of them, and now I like to view them as extended family. By changing the way that I saw them, I have been able to change the way I feel about them. Some people might find this very strange, but I really do care for them. Because I care so deeply for Maya, I also care about them. They are important to Maya, and therefore by extension, important to me. I want good things for them. 

3. Lack of Holiday Cheer: I'm guessing that there is still some residual effect of the "incident" that is contributed to my general lack of holiday cheer this past Christmas. Between that and the recent death in my family, the emotional road that led to the death, and the two deaths in my family during December 2009...I just didn't feel like celebrating. It took me forever to take down the decorations. It was a relief to see them all packed away until next year. Here's hoping for a more spirited Christmas in 2011:)

4. Religion: At one time in my life, religion was a very personal thing for me. I felt like God was my friend. At another time in my life, I wanted nothing to do with religion but wasn't opposed to church, God and the spiritual realm. I've always believed that there is a place in society for religion. Now, I choose to believe because it is comforting. It ties me to my family. It gives me something to hope for and in. It introduces me to a whole community of people that I wouldn't have access to otherwise. It saves me. I'd be lying if I told you I was incredibly excited about religion, but these days there aren't that many things I would get that excited about. It's more of an inward thing for me. As I've come into adult-hood, I'm much more introverted than I ever was. It's not that I don't think God or religion shouldn't be shared...it's just that I'm not good at sharing things the same way I did in my youth. I am trying to share this with my children though, and that is probably the greatest way to share faith.

I have some resolutions this year in addition to some resolution that I have found in the above topics:

1. I'm going to read the Bible in a year...although I'm off to a pathetic start, I will finish by Dec 31, 2011.
2. For Christmas, I want to make one homemade gift for everyone. Whether big or small...I think Christmas will mean more if it's from the heart and not the store.
3. I will spend more one-on-one time with Michael and be more present with all my family.
4. In addition to reading the Bible in a year, I'm also going to read one book a month. So far, so good:)
5. I will finally donate my hair to cancer patients. I've tried this in the past, but that story is for another time...

I do have a few other resolutions, but these five are my main goals.

Happy Wednesday!
The Other Mother

PS - If I start talking about cutting my hair before it's long enough to donate...PLEASE STOP ME! I have a tendancy to get bored with my hair and chop it off...

my spontaneous weekend

Since I married Dave and became the matriarch of my wonderful little family, I have learned to live by very set schedules. Take one look at my google calendar and you will see 15 (literally, 15) different calendars layered on top of each other. Each individual in my family has their own calendar, then there is the regular parenting time calendar, the holiday parenting time calendar, Maya's school calendar, Maya's school district calendar, our family meal plan, the phases of the moon, weather...etc, you get the point. They're all color-coded too:)

Now I'm certainly not trying to complain about schedules right now, because I am happy we have such a good schedule and a good relationship with Maya's other home. BUT this scheduled life I lead does not leave much room for spontaneousness. I cannot remember the last time I decided to drive somewhere on a whim and do something without making plans. Until now:)

One recent weekend, the stars aligned and I had an opportunity for something unplanned! Dave was busy working all weekend, Maya was at her Mom's, and I didn't have a thing on the calendar.


NOTHING.
Did you hear that?!
This is a rare thing.

The other amazing thing is that an old friend I haven't seen since we were 17 years old was also free for the weekend. Her husband was out of town and she was only a couple hours away.

Knowing this might not happen again for eleven years, I took my chance. I was on Cloud 9:)

The weather was good and I packed some essentials. I figured that since my friend only lives 45 minutes away from my sister, I'd call her and reserve the "basement suite" for the night. Then I loaded the van, got the boys settled in for our adventurous day, and I hit the road with my favorite little guys. I was armed with my Caribou Coffee (thank goodness!) and my work phone. I'm on-call every other weekend, but the issues that come up are easily handled remotely. Most of the time.

I write schedules for work.

Looking back, it still amazes me that I was able to just hop in the car and go.


The drive was uneventful. My boys travel well, thankfully. Plus I timed our departure so MacKean was completely ready for a nap and it was close enough to Michael's naptime that his eyes got heavy shortly after I started driving.

A couple hours later, we were at my friend's house. It was a great visit! We mostly talked about what we've been doing these past 12 years. Genevieve has traveled the world on the missions field with her husband and I really hope there is another time soon for us to go deeper in our conversations. She also has an amazing blog that I think you should all check out.

After a few hours, the kids were ready to eat and get moving. So we said good-bye, and the boys and I continued our spontaneous adventure. An hour later, I was at my nephew's basketball game. My parents also happened to be visiting my sister that weekend, so after the game we all went swimming at the hotel. Unfortunately, there was poop in the water and Michael and MacKean didn't spend much time in the pool. Still, it was great to see my sister and her family. That doesn't happen often enough.

The next morning, I saw some old friends at church and enjoyed the last bits of freedom. In a few hours, my spontaneous weekend would be over and it was back to reality a little too soon. With the van packed and the boys buckled in their car seats, I hit the road.

The first 15 miles on the way home I drove through ground blizzard conditions. And snapped some pictures.

 Don't worry, I was looking at the road the whole time.

At first, it was really neat to drive through the swirling snow.

Then it made me a bit dizzy, and I hoped it would be over soon.

Thankfully there were plenty of other cars on the road, and only one of them was in the ditch.

As quickly as it started, it stopped. The roads were perfect after that, and I'm very thankful that my snapshots turned out so nicely! I can't wait for my next spontaneous weekend...because I plan to do this more often....if you can plan to be spontaneous...hmm...

two loves

February has me thinking about things I love. Books, music, and the people I share those things with.

I LOVE to read! It's something I used as an escape from my problems as a young girl, and it's something I use now to give me a break from the constant juggling act that motherhood and step-motherhood can be.

I LOVE to sing! Singing is magical for me. I use it to calm my babies to sleep. In the past, I've let music be my therapist and help me through some of life's biggest struggles. It's been a way that I've communicated to God, and a way that I've thanked Him.

I remember in 5th grade, my friends (who also loved reading and music as much as I did) and I LOVED Disney's Beauty and the Beast. We watched it all the time. We sang the songs at recess. We even put together our own little version of the songs and made our own "music videos". They were never actually recorded, but we pretended we were making a video at recess. This particular song was my favorite. Probably because we all thought we were just like Belle. I think she was our hero in a way.

I secretly wish that I could live in a musical.
I've always wanted to have my own theme song play whenever I enter a room.
Am I the only one?
Are there other people out there that wish for those things?

When I was a kid and actually had spare time, I would lose myself in multiple books a day. I'd read a book in an hour, and then pick up another one and finish it too. In college, I would start a book, get so into it, and read straight through to the next morning until I finished that book. During winter break one year, I went to my parents house and stayed in my room for about a week reading the Harry Potter books.

If there is one thing I hate about reading, it's having to put a book down.

Music makes life worth living if you ask me. There is something so universal about music that connects us all. No matter what our situation, gender, race, or ecomonic status; music is one thing that we all understand. My elementary school music teacher has forever impacted my life. She was the first person that truly helped me experience music. My Uncle Curt is the other most influential musician in my life. Mrs. Otter taught me the rules about music. Uncle Curt taught me how to improvise and feel music. Both are equally important.

Mrs. Otter was the reason I majored in vocal music education in college.

Lately, I find myself whistleing while I work. No seriously, I walk down the halls at work and whistle because I think people would probably laugh at me if I started singing. Why am I so insecure about that?! Whistleing has always been my back-up to singing:) When I was in 5th grade, I started playing volleyball. Through my years of playing volleyball, I sang at practice. All. the. time. My coaches would tell me to stop every day, but I just couldn't. There was a song in me and it needed to get out.

I'm starting to wonder why there is a song in me again lately. I haven't experienced this "need" to sing/whistle for YEARS! I'm going to have to think about this one...

Since I've had my own children, I haven't done a whole lot of reading or singing. As the New Year came and I was thinking about my resolutions, I decided I need to read more. So I made it my goal to read one book a month. I won't kid myself into thinking that a book club would be a good idea...because quite frankly, I don't have time.

I'm happy to report that last night (only one day into Feb) I finished my January book! I read The Help by Kathryn Stockett. That book was amazing. It took me a few chapters to get into it, but when I finally figured out how the story was structured, it all clicked and I didn't want to put it down.

Maya reminds me a lot of myself when it comes to music and reading. She always has her nose in a book and a song on her tongue. I love that about her, and hope that I am encouraging her in those areas. In fact, books and music were some of the earliest connections that Maya and I had. We've read some of the same books recently, and as she is getting older and more mature I'm hoping that we will have many more books to share with each other. Someday I hope we can sing more together, but I think for now I'm just a bit too insecure about my voice. I'm totally out of practice...plus I need to figure out why I have a song in my heart again...don't get me wrong, I LOVE that...but it's something I haven't experienced for a while...I'll keep you guys posted if I figure it out!

the present

I have been following this blog for a while now. Shawni's posts are always fun, full of great photos and inspirational, but yesterday's post really struck a chord with me. One of my New Year's Resolutions is to spend more one-on-one time with my kids, especially with Michael. He has stretched me so thin in the patience department that I often find myself more frustrated with him than I am happy to be around him.

Did I just admit that?

Crap...now everyone knows I'm not the Mother I'd always hoped I'd be. I struggle with day-to-day tasks and the continuous balancing act that comes with motherhood (and life in general). My Michael is a stubborn, independent, strong-willed three year old. Part of me loves that he is such a challenge, because his distinct traits will serve him well later in life...but sometimes I just wish he made things a bit easier for me. Sometimes:) Regardless, I'm going to enjoy the present!

So click on one of the links and see for yourself what a wonderful blog 71 Toes really is!

my kids make me smile

Maya is a sweet girl who is turning into a sassy young lady. Have I ever told you how much fun these pubescent times are?! I'm just thankful she is far far better than I...because (ask my parents) I was a nightmare during my pre-teen and teen years! Slamming doors was my forte. In fact, I lost my door because of my door slamming skills. Thanks Mom and Dad...I hated you for it at the time, but now I love that I have an effective discipline strategy in my back pocket in case my kids are also door slammers:)

Sometimes I glance over at Maya and she flashes me one of her famous cheesy grins. I've never met anyone who smiles as often as Maya does. She smiles just because she likes to smile. It never fails, if I walk into a room that Maya is in...she says hi to me and grins from ear to ear. Always. In all honesty, sometimes it drives me nuts! Maya is her father's daughter...those two are perpetually positive people! Now I'll be the first to admit that I'm just a crabby pants sometimes, but I love that Maya smiles. Maya likes attention. She loves to be loved, and loves to make sure I know that she loves me. Maya has a heart of gold.

Michael is my little ham. His whole face lights up when he smiles. You could power a small country with the wattage in his grin. Even when he does something naughty, he bursts into laughter making it nearly impossible to discipline him. I can barely keep myself from giggling.  Michael is tough to discipline...but he gives the best hugs...when he wants to of course:) He's also a bit of a stinker (kind of like his Mommy) but more than makes up for it in his energetic hugs and kisses. Again...only when he wants to...he is a three year old after all!

MacKean has always been my sweet little silly monkey. He's a cuddler and likes to bury his face into my neck and then look up at me with a huge grin on his face. Then he does it again. It's a fun little game we play:) I often find myself needing both hands for a task so I put MacKean on the floor. It never fails, he sticks out his cute little lower lip, it starts to quiver and then comes the waterworks! He's very sensitive, and I find myself picking him right back up again. Of course he rewards me with more smiles and cuddles. He's a little love bug!

Three kids + three VERY different stages in life = one happy Mom/Step-Mom:)

40 Days 40 Bags

The stockings hung on the wall (no fireplace here) and stared at me day in and day out. Tonight, I finally defeated their taunting glares. 

I'm starting over. It is a new year after all. And yes, I do realize it's already 22 days into the year. I'm a little slow:)

One of my friends recently posted something on FB about how she was going to declutter her home in 40 days. One bag a day. Yeah! What a great way to get motivated to take control of my house. 

For me, physical clutter turns into emotional clutter. The more stuff I have staring at me, the more stuff I have to think about. So as part of my processing, I have decided to do the 40 Days 40 Bags method of decluttering.

I'm going to fix my crap to space ratio, one bag at a time! 

processing

Between the holidays and a whirlwind trip to Alabama and back, I don't know where the time has gone! Sorry you guys have been a little neglected, but I'm guessing (and hoping) everyone else was busy too. 

My head has been all over the place lately and every time I sat down to write a post, I just stared at the monitor. Thoughtless. 

So this is what I have to say right now. 

I have a lot to process.

Death.

Family.

Lack of holiday cheer.

Religion.

You know...the basics. So for now, I'm going to get back to the basics. Then, when my head is on straight again, I'll get back to you. 

Thanks for your patience and we'll talk soon!