some resolution and some resolutions

Remember this post? Well here is a little follow up for you guys...

1. Death: I recently read "Exerpts from 90 Minutes in Heaven", and it gave me a better picture of why Christians aren't scared of death. It's still hard for me to feel excited about the loss through death, but time heals all wounds and believing that my loved ones will end up in a better place is comforting to me.

2. Family: We have our family by blood, and this is very important because those are the people that will always be there for you and who will love you unconditionally; but here is how I choose to look at things. After being married for a little over 4 years, I'm finally beginning to let go of the in-law title from my husband's side of the family. It's still a little akward for me, but it is a process that takes time. To become family through marriage has always been a challenge for me. Maya is a great example for me in this area by the love and acceptance that she has shown me. Our relationship is a relationship built through marriage, but cemented through mutual love, shared experience, and caring actions. Another extension of my family I think is important is Maya's side of the family through her Mom. I've gone from viewing them as the enemy, to seeing their lives on display in court, to general acceptance of them, and now I like to view them as extended family. By changing the way that I saw them, I have been able to change the way I feel about them. Some people might find this very strange, but I really do care for them. Because I care so deeply for Maya, I also care about them. They are important to Maya, and therefore by extension, important to me. I want good things for them. 

3. Lack of Holiday Cheer: I'm guessing that there is still some residual effect of the "incident" that is contributed to my general lack of holiday cheer this past Christmas. Between that and the recent death in my family, the emotional road that led to the death, and the two deaths in my family during December 2009...I just didn't feel like celebrating. It took me forever to take down the decorations. It was a relief to see them all packed away until next year. Here's hoping for a more spirited Christmas in 2011:)

4. Religion: At one time in my life, religion was a very personal thing for me. I felt like God was my friend. At another time in my life, I wanted nothing to do with religion but wasn't opposed to church, God and the spiritual realm. I've always believed that there is a place in society for religion. Now, I choose to believe because it is comforting. It ties me to my family. It gives me something to hope for and in. It introduces me to a whole community of people that I wouldn't have access to otherwise. It saves me. I'd be lying if I told you I was incredibly excited about religion, but these days there aren't that many things I would get that excited about. It's more of an inward thing for me. As I've come into adult-hood, I'm much more introverted than I ever was. It's not that I don't think God or religion shouldn't be shared...it's just that I'm not good at sharing things the same way I did in my youth. I am trying to share this with my children though, and that is probably the greatest way to share faith.

I have some resolutions this year in addition to some resolution that I have found in the above topics:

1. I'm going to read the Bible in a year...although I'm off to a pathetic start, I will finish by Dec 31, 2011.
2. For Christmas, I want to make one homemade gift for everyone. Whether big or small...I think Christmas will mean more if it's from the heart and not the store.
3. I will spend more one-on-one time with Michael and be more present with all my family.
4. In addition to reading the Bible in a year, I'm also going to read one book a month. So far, so good:)
5. I will finally donate my hair to cancer patients. I've tried this in the past, but that story is for another time...

I do have a few other resolutions, but these five are my main goals.

Happy Wednesday!
The Other Mother

PS - If I start talking about cutting my hair before it's long enough to donate...PLEASE STOP ME! I have a tendancy to get bored with my hair and chop it off...