So all the sudden I'm dating a man with a kid...hmm...this was not part of my plan. Of course it didn't really matter to me because Dave and Maya had both secured their place in my heart by then. I was in love with them. Both of them.
I tried to hide how truly disappointed I was that Dave had already experienced the miracle of birth with another woman. Having kids had always been a dream of mine. I tried not to think about how hurt I was and focused on building relationships instead.
Back then, Dave would visit Maya. There was no set schedule, no court order. He (or we) would pick her up and spend a few precious hours with her. The more time I spent with Maya, the more time I wanted to spend with her. Maya is an EXCEPTIONAL person. I cannot stress that enough.
Maya is EXCEPTIONAL.
Remember July 14, 2005? Well on July 14, 2006, Dave and I were on vacation in Duluth. That morning, he took me to the exact place we met, wrapped his arms around me, and asked me to marry him. YES! Of course yes! I knew I would marry him a year ago when I met him.
On Dec 23, 2006, I married the man (and daughter) of my dreams:) I was officially a Step-Mom. Yikes!
In January 2007, Dave and I started a regular parenting time schedule. Maya stayed with us every other weekend and we saw her every other Thursday evening. Life seemed pretty darn good on the surface. Under the surface was a completely different story. A storm was brewing...
Two months later, my dream of becoming a Mom was going to come true. I was pregnant!
Dave and I had about three months of newlywed bliss. It wasn't all that blissful, but compared to what was coming, it was paradise.
That May was a pivitol month for us. Dave learned some very sad things about what was happening in Maya's home. We poured ourselves into filling out paperwork, getting advice from attorneys and family members, and on May 14 Dave filed his motion for custody.
On May 15, Dave received an email from Maya's Mom and Step-Dad. They told him he could no longer see or speak to Maya until there was a court order in place.
We were devestated.
I was mad.
I shed a lot of tears during that time.
I have no idea what Maya thought during all of this. I imagine she was sad and confused.
To this day I am scared to ask her. I don't want to bring up bad memories for her.
Maya missed many things that summer, but the thing I missed the most was Maya.
2 comments:
The powerless feeling is the worst. I know how it turns out, but I can't help but totally feel the sad despiration that non-custodial parents experience.
You hit the nail on the head, Jackie! It is a completely powerless feeling. I hate thinking about how many people go through the same feelings every day.
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