summer

I feel like summer just started, but here we are in September already! Family vacation is over and school is just around the corner. Maya moved into her locker, picked up her class schedule, and her clothes for the first day of school are laid out and ready to go.

The basic lack of schedule all summer has been really great. It allowed for us to just be...to play and read as we pleased. While it is really important for us to have these free times, what I really crave is schedule and routine. David's work schedule is different (and more rigid) during the school year. Maya is held to a tight schedule with school, homework, and her first season of tennis. Michael is starting preschool this year and will have his first real taste of a schedule. MacKean is just along for the ride and I feel like a conductor of life during this summer/school year transition.

Our family meeting is planned with an agenda and calendars prepared.
My Google Calendar is full of recurring events for each family member.
Sunday School will be starting soon.
The new 2011-12 chore charts are ready for the big kids.
Meal planning for the fall is in full swing.
I've started putting daily menus on our kitchen chalkboard.

Even with all this transition into schedules and routine, I do have one last summer "event". I'm going to Space Camp with my big sister...We leave on Saturday! I'm a bit giddy and a bit nervous. Mostly, I just can't wait. But first, I have a mountain of laundry that needs to be attended to...and when I get back, BAM! School will be in it's second week and fall will be right around the corner.

Are you ready?

Wordless Wednesday

Children's Bill of Rights

We the children of the divorcing parents, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish these Bill Of Rights for all children.

1. The right not to be asked to "choose sides" or be put in a situation where I would have to take sides between my parents.
   
2. The right to be treated as a person and not as a pawn, possession or a negotiating chip.
   
3. The right to freely and privately communicate with both parents.
   
4. The right not to be asked questions by one parent about the other.
   
5. The right not to be a messenger.
   
6. The right to express my feelings.
   
7. The right to adequate visitation with the non-custodial parent which will best serve my needs and wishes.
   
8. The right to love and have a relationship with both parents without being made to feel guilty.
   
9. The right not to hear either parent say anything bad about the other.
   
10. The right to the same educational opportunities and economic support that I would have had if my parents did not divorce.
    
11. The right to have what is in my best interest protected at all times.
    
12. The right to maintain my status as a child and not to take on adult responsibilities for the sake of the parent's well being.
    
13. The right to request my parents seek appropriate emotional and social support when needed.
    
14. The right to expect consistent parenting at a time when little in my life seems constant or secure.
    
15. The right to expect healthy relationship modeling, despite the recent events.
    
16. The right to expect the utmost support when taking the time and steps needed to secure a healthy adjustment to the current situation.
    

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Please realize that this is NOT law, anywhere.
The "Children's' Bill of Rights" is not legally enforceable, but rather suggestions made to keep the best interest of the child a priority.

Taken from Divorce HQ

Wordless Wednesday

38 years and still in love: Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!

OK, so this post isn't completely wordless...but that's OK:) 

Thank you Mom and Dad for raising me with a realistic view of marriage. You guys made it through so many hard times, but have a stronger marriage because of it. Marriage is hard work; it takes much strength and perseverance!

Love you!

tomorrow

Last night, Michael and I were laying in my bed talking. The conversation just kept going and going and going. Normally I don't like to allow too much stalling before bedtime, but last night was different. He was having a real conversation and I could tell he was just eating up the time with me. Alone time with me. One-on-one time with me. The last part of our conversation went like this...

"OK, Michael, time to go to sleep. I need to go clean and then I'll come back and lay with you.
"But you can clean tomorrow."
"I also have to pack for our trip."
"But you can pack tomorrow."
"I need to do the laundry."
"But you can do laundry tomorrow."
"You know, Michael, you're right...."

We kept talking, but since Michael is the "man of the house" while Dave is gone I made him help me close up the house before we went to bed together. So we closed windows and curtains, locked doors, picked things up, and went to bed. Michael and I fell asleep talking and cuddling. It was nice...and he was right. I can do all those things tomorrow. Sometimes it's worth it to live in the present and snuggle with my big boy.

And now it's today and I've got work to do!

staying grounded

In our fast-paced world, it is so important to stay grounded!

I like to spend a lot of time outdoors.
It renews me.
It inspires me.

It's the simple things like working with my hands in my garden that give me time to clear my brain. Choosing to walk, instead of drive, to the store allows for me to take in my surroundings, rather than rush past them. And sometimes I just like to sit on my bench swing or lay in my hammock so I can hear the sounds of nature.

When I connect with nature, the problems that seem so big in the moment start to slowly fade away until they don't seem so big and important anymore.

How do you stay grounded in your day-to-day life?

forgiveness

Wikipedia defines forgiveness like this..."Forgiveness is typically defined as the process of concluding resentment, indignation, or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution."

Bottom line... forgiveness is a process...

Over the years, I received several half-hearted apologies from Eric. To me, they meant nothing if he wasn't willing to change his actions. It took a very long time for me to realize that I actually did need to practice forgiveness with Eric...not because of Eric or his apologies, but because of ME! I was suffering because of this weight I chose to keep.

For a long time it felt like I had to forgive him over and over and over for the same things because I just couldn't let go! Thankfully I have learned to let go of the hatred, but I get the feeling it may try to creep it's way back into my life...

Like the other day when I was talking to Maya. We don't talk about Eric often, but occasionally he makes his way into our conversation. [Maya does see him from time to time because of her little brother and sister at her Mom's.] Maya knows about the court order which clearly states that Eric is not to be a significant part of her life any longer. Which is good! But Maya is 12 and is learning to be an adult little by little and she likes to help to make decisions for her life. It upsets Maya that our court order tells her who she cannot let in her life. Afterall, she wasn't involved in the decision to keep Eric away. So sadly, Eric still has a hold on her. Not a big hold on her, but a hold none-the-less.

I hope and pray she doesn't resent her Mom, Dad, and I for guarding her from Eric. But mostly I hope and pray that as she matures, Maya makes the decision to guard herself from Eric. But maybe that isn't the right way to think about things...maybe I should be hoping and praying that Eric changes himself...hmm...these are heavy thoughts for a Friday!

For now though, I will continue to live my life without the weight of hatred.

How about you? Are there people in your life that you need to practice forgiveness with so you can get on with your life?

TGIF!
The Other Mother